Tuesday, 30 November 2010

"I won't play my music out loud"

I'm sure those of you that travel on London public transport have seen a poster similar to the one on the left, asking you what you will do to make London's public transport a nicer place to be. I'm also sure you will have had to put up with someone breaking this particular one.

Every type of person, from any and all walks of life are guilty of this, but generally, it's either little chavs at the back of the bus listening to some generic rap on the tinny speaker of their stolen phone in an attempt to be cool. Or some pretentious suited city type on the tube, whose headphone volume is high enough for everybody on the carriage to hear what sort of musical mood they are in.

Wednesday, 24 November 2010

He's not Harmless, He's a Twat...

You're not funny, you're not harmless,
you're not a 'character', you're a twat
Have you ever heard someone described as harmless? Ever been venting your anger at someone over something someone else did or said to you, only to have your view dismissed in the two words, "he's harmless"?
I've noticed that there are a small percentage of the population, that while complete and utter toss pots, get away with things because people see them as harmless. I think it has alot to do with pity. Picture the people in your mind that you have heard described as harmless. Got them? Right, do you think they are described as harmless because they have some reason for people to pity them? I know the 4 or 5 in my head do. Be it a drink problem developed because of some family bereavement, or the fact that they are a bit simple but regularly put people down with scathing and biting comments, or people that intentionally go behind your back on something but get away with it because they are "so nice usually".

Let me describe the people to you that inspired me to write this article, and afterwards you can decide wether these people are harmless or just twats. They drink in the same local pub as me, two mates, ones Irish, ones English, lets call them Paddy and George...

Wednesday, 17 November 2010

Wills, Kate & The British Media

A statement has been released confirming impending marriage of Prince William and Kate Middleton and we might get a day off work for it. Good. That's all I needed to know.

However, the British media has gone absolutely mental over this. Every news channel last night dedicated 95% of its program to discussing the story, it's all over the front page of every news paper, and there are already tv programs about the Wills & Kate story being advertised on the TV. Does anyone really care that much?!

Tuesday, 16 November 2010

Pointless Motorway Matrix Signs

Why is it the signs you see above the motorways never have anything useful on them? Always some nagging health and safety nanny state inspired message. I'd rather be informed about the huge delaying queue I'm about to join rather than be advised to "check my fuel level".

The amount of times I've been told there's a queue ahead then sailed straight through empty road, or not informed about a queue and then immediately found one. What is the point in spending what is obviously millions of pounds on a network of motorway signs that just display pointless or misleading information?!

Saw this last month..
There are many companies that monitor traffic jams for the purpose of their route finders including AA, RAC, and even Google. Perhaps one of those should work out a way of getting these signs to work properly, because the highways agency is failing miserably.

Some of my favourites are pictured below...

Thursday, 11 November 2010

@Lord_Sugar disregards 2 minute Twitter silence...

#silence and #rememberenceday were trending on twitter, instructing everyone not to tweet between 11:00 to 11:02 to observe the 2 minutes silence.

It was brilliantly observed by 99% of twitterers, except for Alan Sugar, who used the 2 minutes silence to promote a competition for his book, guaranteeing everyone signed into twitter would see his message.

@Lord_Sugar .... you self important little man, have some respect

Tuesday, 9 November 2010

Bar Etiquette

These are all customer related, I'm not going to start having a go at hard working bar staff in busy establishments. It's not their fault it's busy and there's not enough staff. They're going as fast as they can (most of the time).

This is potentially such a large topic, as bars, pubs and clubs are obvious flashpoints of cretinous behaviour, but I'm going to focus on the 3 main ones that annoy me when attempting to buy a drink from a busy bar.

Monday, 1 November 2010

People that don't say thank you...

720,143 people are members of a group on facebook called "Saying you're welcome to people who don't say thank you"... so this is something that obviously winds alot of people up...

For me, it's specifically people that don't say thank you when you...
a) hold a door open for them
b) wait for them to pass through a narrow passage before you do
c) when you're driving and pull over to the side of the road to allow oncoming traffic to pass.

Wednesday, 27 October 2010

Poppycock Press

According to daily arse rag newspapers the M(F)ail and Star, the BBC have been blasted for wearing their poppies too early. BBC, you're a disgrace! Here's the story headline at the Daily Mail.

According to the article, Sue Cornwell, who co-ordinates poppy sales for the Amersham branch of the charity, said:  

"There is a strict date when you can buy a poppy and make your donation, and it has to be from October 30. It causes ill feeling among the people who go house to house selling the poppies if people are recycling them and wearing them already."

Really? People are saving their poppies from the previous year? What do the Royal British Legion have to say about this...

Monday, 25 October 2010

Ebay Timewasters

If you've used ebay, I'm sure your aware that it is awash with timewasters. In the past couple of weeks, I've had bad experiences on both the buying and selling side that although extremely annoying are not strictly against the rules of ebay and as such, there's nothing I can do about them.... apart from moan about it on here...

Tuesday, 19 October 2010

Would you date these men?

Four and a half minutes of hilarious cringe-tastic video dating clips from the 80s. Guess this is what life was like for these men before internet dating sites existed...

My favourite lines include:
"Hi, my name is Monroe, errr, you've probably already noticed that I have incredibly blue eyes."
"Perhaps even a nice bath with errr, some champagne and candles..."
"I'm looking for the goddess. Are you the goddess? Who is the goddess? The goddess is the woman, a woman, is any woman, is all women..."

Video below...

Wednesday, 13 October 2010

Violence in Video Games - Does it corrupt children?

A Confession...
I've paid for sex. I then run her over and stole her money. I've killed countless Nazi's, American troops, aliens, prostitutes and even an airport terminal full of innocent civilians. I've raced a car at over 200mph through the streets and took pleasure at knocking a competitor into an innocent motorist. I've got drunk and run over a policeman, I've also done it when high. I've broken a man's neck with my bare hands and stabbed another in the face. I watched my friends be torn apart by mutated humans and done a fair bit of tearing things apart myself.

Have I done any of that in real life? No. 
Have I any desire to do that in real life? No.
Has that first paragraph been flagged up as suspicious online activity by the automated anti terrorist systems of the CIA, MI6...etc? Probably...but that's not the point.

Monday, 11 October 2010

Public Affection Should be Kept Private

I have no doubt this blog post is going to have people calling me sad, pathetic, old fashioned, or jealous. But at the risk of contradicting my blog post in the first paragraph to prove that I am not sad and lonely... I am in a long term relationship in which I am very happy, and although sometimes I feel like I want to "squeeze her head until it pops" (and I'm sure she feels the same way!) I wouldn't have it any other way.

Ok, Ok, that's that over with, you can stop being sick now...

Nevertheless, I don't feel the urge to act like the couple in the picture in the top right...

Tuesday, 5 October 2010

X-Factor viewers go mental over Gamu - Gamu Cares!?

Let me start off my saying, I don't watch the X-factor (after the intial rounds of people who think they can sing) and I don't care who is or isn't better than someone who is or isn't out. But apparently over 128,000 people have joined a facebook group set up in favour of reversing the decision of not allowing one of the singers through to the final 12. Also, hundreds of people have written to Ofcom to complain. What are ofcom supposed to do?!

Monday, 4 October 2010

Stop Cash Machine Faff

Cash machines, we all use them and we all know how to use them. Insert card, type in pin, perform task, remove card, leave. It's sort of an unspoken rule aswell, that if there is a queue, have your card ready to put in the slot, be as quick as possible and don't faff around.

Monday, 27 September 2010

Ban Rush Hour Driving Lessons

Quite simply, all learner drivers should be banned from the road between 7am - 9am and 5pm - 7pm. I don't want to be stuck behind a learner driver tailback trundling along at 20mph, or have to wait for ages behind one at a junction for them to find a gap a suitable number of football pitches long to pull out in to.

It should be illegal for driving instructors to give a lesson during the hours mentioned at the top of this article. From the commuters point of view, we've got somewhere to be, and we need to get there as quickly and as 'leagally' possible. Learner drivers further clog up, clogged up roads to the point of a horn honking, steering wheel hitting, screaming fit of anger. (Me, only in extreme cases of being held up). From the learner drivers point of view, its a bit of a waste of time to be sitting in traffic for the length of their lesson, and it must be a bit nerve racking learning to drive during the rush hour?

Wednesday, 22 September 2010

'Lord' Alan Sugar called me a twit.... twice!

Yesterday Alan Sugar was on a bit of a political rant on twitter. And I merely pointed out to him that he should really be seen as impartial, seeing as though he is on one of the BBC's flagship tv shows. The BBC are supposed to be impartial and AMS had faced calls to be axed from the BBC when he was a Labour Tsar Advisor Publicity Stunt. Tweets below...

Monday, 20 September 2010

Supermarket Checkout Etiquette

I have previously written a blog post about people who jump the queue to pay for petrol, and thinking about it, there's so many more things people do at a supermarket checkout that they just shouldn't be allowed to do. Here is a run down of the top 5 things that should be banned at supermarket checkouts...

Saturday, 18 September 2010

A Twitter Shirt Giveaway Competition - Nice Idea, Poor Planning and Piss Poor Execution

What was the competition?
As you may know, last week Puma ran a "treasure hunt" competition in which they released a clue to all followers of BeInThatNumber on twitter as to the location of 20 free Spurs shirts between Friday and Tuesday 4pm-6pm each day. To allow fans to get them a week or so before they were available to everyone else. That sounds great you would say. Win win situation for both fans and puma? In theory yes...Puma gets thousands of followers on twitter to contact about future Spurs shirt sales and they drum up excitement about the upcoming shirt release, and Spurs fans get free shirts. But in practice, it didn't work to well....

Monday, 13 September 2010

Charity Muggers (Chuggers)

Wearing brightly coloured rain jackets, shiny badges and clutching an important looking clipboard, Charity Muggers are a plague on our streets.
Often hunting in packs, they spread out their 5-or so man team down a high street. Usually on alternating sides of the road, forcing people to continuously cross the road to avoid them.

Charities pay huge sums to firms that employ so-called 'charity muggers' who stop people in the street and try to persuade them to donate by direct debit.
But the charities often don't see a penny of this donated money because the 'chugging' firm charges are so high.
But a BBC investigation found the charities are often paying the companies, in effect, £100 or more for each signature they collect – meaning in many cases the company is paid more than the charity will raise from that donor in the first year.
And many of those signed up by these sub-contractors do not complete 12 months of donations.

Friday, 10 September 2010

Term Time Traffic

I miss the school summer holidays. No, I'm not talking about when I was younger. I'm talking about last week. Last week, during rush hour, the roads were relatively empty during the commute to work...
No queuing at junctions and roundabouts, no queues on the motorways. For those 6 weeks, driving to work is bliss. But then, apparently kids need educating, so school resumes, and the roads are clogged up with parents driving their kids to school and the parents that have taken the holidays off and are back to work. The endless queues resume and a minimum of 15 minutes of pure tedium are instantly added to my journey.

Today was alright. It's the Muslim festival of Eid today, and as I live in the culturally diverse city of London, lots of schools have a day off. Good times. Only two weeks until half term and quiet roads again. Bring it on. Have a uncretinous weekend people!

Something UN-cretinous For the Weekend

***Good Mood Begin!***
Voucher code websites. If you aren't using them yet, you should be. Most online companies or highstreet restuarants have some sort of voucher deal being run at any one time. I always check the web for vouchers before I buy something or make a hotel booking or go out for a meal or whatever. Just recently I got 25% off a hotel booking, 15% off a computer game and (effectivley) two pizzas for one at Pizza Express.

There are plenty of voucher code websites out there to use, but I find VoucherHub to be the best one, as people can vote on each discount code, so you don't get some cretin wasting your time by posting things for 99% off, because people will just vote it down once they realise it doesn't work. Just bookmark the site, and before you make a purchase online, go visit voucher hub and see if there is a voucher code for that particular online retailer. Simple!

Anyway, enough waffle, go here, get a pizza voucher, get down to pizza express weekend and treat yourself.
***Good Mood End!***

Thursday, 9 September 2010

Inconsiderate Parking

I drive to work, so inconsiderate parking really affects me as I struggle to find a parking space in our world of ever decreasing parking spaces. I've got a few pictures of the main examples that annoy me.

The first one (right), the silver VW parked up in a bay on the side of the road. Not only a mile away from the kerb, but smack bang in the middle of a parking space big enough for two cars. Idiot. Either pull forward or backwards to the bumper of the next car and you free up a bit of space for somebody else. Whether its because they can't be bothered, or they just want to be able to drive out of the space nice and easily, it's irritating. It should be made law that we are allowed to smash the window, take the handbrake off and push the car out of the way.

Tuesday, 7 September 2010

I've been lard off...

I often browse the Sun newspaper, as its a goldmine of cretinous things. I saw this story in the newspaper today:

A 30-STONE factory worker has been laid off - in case he falls on his pals and CRUSHES them.

Tubby Barry Fowers had to climb on platforms despite being prone to blackouts.

But he was considered a danger to himself and others and took an offer of redundancy at his job making power equipment.

Despite his list of ailments, Barry, of Burton on Trent, Staffs, has been refused incapacity benefit after leaving his job at Crestchic. He gets £21.65-a-week Jobseeker's Allowance.

The angry dad of one said: "I've paid tax for 34 years and should get something in return."

Wife Shirley said: "We want this payment changed."

So, to summarise, a man who gets fat, through no fault of the tax payer, is too fat to do his job, SAYS YES to the offer of redundancy, and wants incapacity benefit now that he's not working, because he has paid tax for 34 years and should get something in return?! Something in return for being fat and voluntarily not working? How about the fact that that by paying tax and being a citzen of this country, the government has already ensured that he was fed, clothed, educated, sheltered, given him job seekers allowance to allow him to seek a job, and given him free NHS health care for when his over active mouth lands him up in hospital with obesity related illnesses?! Too bloody right it was refused! And what's his wife on about "We want this payment changed"?! To what?! A gym membership? Actually... not a bad idea love.

Monday, 6 September 2010

Bob Crow and the RMT - Get back to work!

Hi! I'm Bob Crow, I earn over £124k p.a and I'm here to fuck your day up!
This is Bob Crow. Leader of the RMT Union. The odious little shite that is causing so much grief for Londoners right now.

London is in the middle of yet another tube strike called for by Crow and his Crow-nies. This time he is asking for assurances that some 800 jobs won't be cut. The response was that 800 jobs wouldn't be cut compulsorily. Bob Crow, who seems not to understand the art of peaceful negotiation told them to shove it and here we are.

Sunday, 5 September 2010

Slow Walking People

Slow walking people, they do my head in. Especially in London. The only time I and the majority of other Londoners ever go into the centre of London, I'm there to do something. I need to get places. Be it work, shopping or whatever, I don't want to be dodging people that are forever stopping to take pictures, a massive fat family walking side by side taking up the whole pavement, or people that stop, or change direction and speed randomly in a busy street.

Thursday, 2 September 2010

Me vs Petrol Jumpers

You're probably wondering what a Petrol Jumper is?
You've all seen them, you are waiting in line at your local tescos metro/extra, or any other petrol station and shop establishment, having just filled up your car. Whether you have bought something in the shop aswell as your petrol or not. And some self important looking person comes in, walks straight up to the till and says, "I'm just paying for petrol" and automatically assumes that this gives him/her the right to jump the queue. Well, this happened this morning to me, and well, anyone who's seen me in the morning, knows I'm not a morning person, so I had to challenge them. This is the conversation that followed:

Monday, 30 August 2010

Forwarders of Junk Mail

The subject of today's cretinous blog post are people who forward junk emails. It drives me mad when someone sends me any of this crap, here's one I've seen that I cannot believe people fall for...

Hi, everyone
The Ericsson Company is distributing free computer lap-tops in an attempt to match Nokia that has already done so. Ericsson hopes to increase its popularity this way. For this reason, they are giving away the new WAP Laptops. All you need to qualify is to send this mail to 8 people you know. Within 2 weeks, you will receive Ericcson T18. But if you can send it to 20 people or more, you will receive Ericsson R320.
Make sure to send a copy to: anna.swelung@ericcson.com

Think about it. You send it to 20 people. You get a laptop. They each send it to 20 people, thats 21 laptops. Each of those people send it to 20 people thats 401 laptops. Then 8001, 160001, 3200001...and so on. Don't. Be. An. Idiot. 

Thursday, 26 August 2010

Driving on the Phone - No excuses, No exceptions

It's a well known fact that using your mobile phone whilst driving affects your concentration and automatically means you are a knob. Even though it's illegal, people still do it. I've lost count the amount of times I've been cut up someone who is not concentrating, or I've had to slam the brakes on to avoid someone who has pulled out on me, because they are on the phone. When such a thing happens, I'm not the sort of driver who lets things like that go. I usually gesticulate wildly in the general direction of the offender. One of which occasion occurred the other day and led to this blog post...

Tuesday, 24 August 2010

Kids in Restaurants

What? Me?!
Morning everyone. I thought I'd broaden the subjects in this blog to, as its name suggests, "All Things Cretinous". I'd love to know what you think of each post, let me know using the comments box below each post. You don't need to log in or anything. Anybody can post a comment.

So anyway, for the first of these new blog subjects, kids in restaurants. We've all been a restaurant, trying to have a nice adult or romantic meal, and there's a family with small kids in there aswell. Now, I don't have a problem with well behaved children and their parents having a nice quiet civilized meal together. Even a little bit of childish excitement is ok, as long as they don't go too mad. But parents who use a meal out in a restaurant as an excuse to stop being a parent for a few hours really wind me up, more so than the children.

Thursday, 19 August 2010


What do you get when you cross badminton with basketball? Basketminton, Badsketball? No. You get a really cretinous "hour" of badminton.
First of all, when we arrived, there was nobody at reception. After shouting hello, anybody there through the glass for a couple of minutes, we had to get the security guard to go into the back to find someone. Turns out someone was there, literally on the other side of the door, just outside the line of sight from reception. So she definitely heard us, but must have thought someone else would deal with it, or we would go away.

After mumbling what I assume was an apology (or insult) at us, we are informed that we're on court 3. Off we trot. Only to find that only courts 1 and 6 have badminton, the rest of the hall is being used for women’s basketball. (hence the picture). Both 1 and 6 have people on them. Here we go again I thought. Off I go to find a member of staff.

Tuesday, 17 August 2010

Inside The Cretinous Gym - Customer Feedback

Morning people. It's been a while since you've had anything from the cretinous gym, don't worry, things are still happening and they will be documented soon.

For today's blog post, we have a picture taken inside the gym. Taken sneakily after a badminton session, this is a picture of the customer feedback box. (You can click on the picture for a larger version of the image)

You'll notice in this picture that there is a post box for you to post the forms into, that’s the black thing in middle of the picture... it was empty. Surprising you might think, given the level of cretinous behavior that occurs. But there’s a simple explanation to this, the clear plastic holder on the left is where the feedback forms are supposed to be kept. There are none. You'll notice just below the black box there is one solitary form sitting on the radiator, upon closer inspection, it was just covered in swear words. Probably written by a child, but just as likely a gym-goer, so overcome with rage that all they could do was scrawl down some random swear words on the nearest bit of paper. I regret not picking it up and taking it with me now. If its still there when I go back later this week I'll pick it up and scan it for your enjoyment.

More updates later this week!


Friday, 13 August 2010

Cretinous Service at Wilkinsons

Morning everyone, it's Friday (obviously) which is good news. Today’s blog post is brought to you courtesy of the high street home improvement chain Wilkinsons, or wilkos as some people call it. Anyway yesterday lunch time, I went in there to buy a photo frame, some string, a monster energy drink, and some toothpaste, once I got to the tills, everything was scanned, this happened....

Wednesday, 11 August 2010

Fun With Papa Johns Pizza - The Reply

Morning, just a quick update.
Following this blog post about a new customers offer that couldn't be claimed by some new customers at papa johns, I posted the link to the blog on Papa Johns UK twitter and facebook pages. I got this reply:

Papa John's UK  - Hi Chris. Well they have been passed on to the Marketing Dept, as I belong to it :) The answers are true in that we did originally set up the offer by e-mail address, but there was a huge amount of abuse with people setting up multiple e-mail addresses, and I mean huge, and so we did have to move to per address monitoring, which is what is currently in place. You do make a fair suggestion though and I will personally look into whether we can get that set up.

See, thats all it takes. One member of staff to show that they actually care. Even if they don't care, or agree with what I'm saying, it's a much better way of dealing with it than bombarding me with offers I clearly am not interested in! Good stuff.
Edmonton Leisure Centre - (Work in progress)
Papa Johns Pizza - Tick

Right, who's next....

Tuesday, 10 August 2010

Fun with Papa Johns Pizza

Morning everyone! I was going back through my email inbox the other day and came across a little email conversation I had with papa johns pizza. The back story to this email conversation as follows. I went to order some pizza at the papa johns website (obviously) and there was an offer on there giving new customers 50% off. Brilliant I thought, I'm a new customer, I'll have some of that action. Only after I click on confirm at the checkout, the price reverts to full price. I call the store and ask them why the deal has come off my order. Apparently somebody at that address has ordered before so I can't be considered a new customer...and here we pick up the email...

Friday, 6 August 2010

Edmonton Leisure Centre Reply

Morning everyone! Todays blog post is a reply from the manager of Edmonton Leisure Centre to this letter I sent them last month.

Click me to make me big!
Good afternoon.

It appears there seems to have been some misunderstanding regarding responding to you as I originally sent my response to our head office.

I have discussed the issues contained within your email with my duty managers and reception staff at our briefings and have informed them of the seriousness of not being able to provide the service which we expect to offer our members/users.

In terms of the actual issues, I wish to answer them one point at a time:

Thursday, 5 August 2010

Fusion Leisure Head Office Reply

Morning people. So, this is what I got in response to the complaint email I sent to the head office of Edmonton Leisure Center. I've removed the name, just in case they get the hump and force me to take it down. You can either read the emails in the italic fonts or click on the images to enlarge them and read the images.

Hello and thank you for the email.
I am in meetings this afternoon, Monday 26th July.
I will be picking up emails but I may be delayed in responding to you.
If your request is urgent please contact the Marketing department on 020 7740 7500.
Alternatively, I will deal with your request upon my return.
Thank you

Marketing and Communications Manager

Ok, I thought, an out of office, typical. Their website said it takes 24 hours to respond to a query, this guy is out of the office, so, I'll give it a day or two more before I chase this up. In the end, I sent another email on the 2nd August.

Wednesday, 4 August 2010

The Greatest Complaint Letter Ever Written

Well, this is what the past 6 blog posts have been leading up to. I thought you lot would be interested in the email I just sent them, I think its the greatest complaint letter ever written. Apparently, they aim to reply within 24 hours... it's already been a week and a half. And I've chased them up twice on it. Anyway, it's a bit of a read but you'll enjoy it...especially the last paragraph!

Tuesday, 3 August 2010

RetroCret 28th July 2010 - Part 6

Dear Edmonton Leisure Centre...
This happened 6 days after the last blog post events, again it was in person at the gym. This time, the manager gets involved half way through. Good you'd think, someone to restore a bit of order to the situation...
not so...not...so...

For once, no problem with the receptionist, at first. There was no queue, she took my card and swiped it and they duly informed me that I was on court 4. So off we trot to court 4. Upon arrival at court 4, surprise surprise, theres no net set up. The time is 8:55, so I go and find the nearest member of staff, explain that theres no net and ask them if they can set one up. The tell me that they will inform reception and get them to get someone to do it. Good.

5 minutes pass, nobody arrives to set up the net, and there has been no tannoy announcement to get a member of staff to go to court 4 to set up a net. So, I go back down to reception and here we pick up the story...

Monday, 2 August 2010

RetroCret 22nd July 2010 - Part 5

Morning people. Everyone have a good weekend? So...not over the phone this time but early one Saturday morning. Court booked for 9 - 10. Now theres usually a gym class from 10 onwards on half the courts, no big deal, badminton is usually on the other half... anyway, we turn up, walk to reception, wait in line for 5 minutes and here we pick up the story...

Friday, 30 July 2010

RetroCret 8th June 2010 - Part 4

Morning everyone. Lazy, rude and just downright shoddy service in todays cretinous phonecall. It's a bit longer than previous posts, but stick with it, I promise you it's the best one yet... 

Firstly, as in the previous post, it took ages to get through to them, and then this is what happened next...
You'll notice this time I get a bit pissed off with them...

June 2010
EG- Edmonton leisure centerrrrr, how can I help?
C- Can I book a badminton court for next Tuesday?
EG- Oh, bloody badminton again, what time?
C- 9 in the evening
EG- What date?
C- Next Tuesday
EG- That’s the day, what’s the date?
(I glance at the calendar, add 7 days in my head)
C- 15th. Do you not have a schedule on the computer infront of you that could have told you that?
EG- Yeah, I just couldn't be bothered, I'm really busy.
C- Yeah, so am I, yet its taken me half an hour to get through to you because you never pick up the phone, and when you do I get this sort of shoddy service. I am a member, I pay a monthly subscription, therefore I contribute to your wages, and as such, if I want to call you up to book a badminton court, I don't expect it to be such a f***ing battle.

Thursday, 29 July 2010

RetroCret 28th May 2010 - Part 3

Good morning people. A couple of weeks after the previous blogs events unfolded, the customer service, attentiveness and intelligence hit a new low. Anyway, I'l let you get to what you came here for.
Once again, I am not making any of these stories up, they're all true...enjoy...

May 2010
EG - Edmonton Gym
C - Me

First attempt at ringing them, no answer for 2 minutes
Second attempt at ringng them, answer after 1 minute, told to call back in 5 minutes
Third attempt at ringing (5 minutes later) "We're busy at the moment, I'll give you a call in an hour"
an hour passes
no call

Wednesday, 28 July 2010

RetroCret 21st April 2010 - Part 2

Morning/Afternoon/Evening Everyone,
In April apparently not even Edmonton Leisure Centre was safe from the Icelandic volcano. Again, they decided to cancel a badminton court that I booked a week in advance, on the day, leaving me no chance of re-booking it somewhere else, the following is a transcript of that conversation. Enjoy!

Tuesday, 27 July 2010

RetroCret March 2010 - Part 1

As I mentioned in my previous post, this week I'll be blogging about the previous experiences I've had with the customer services at the gym, leading to the complaint letter I have sent head office and hopefully following that, their reply...

Anyway, this is where it all began. The first time I had a cretinous phone conversation with Edmonton Lesisure Centre was back in March. Originally posted for my friends on facebook, now its here for the world (or a very small fraction of it) to read...

Monday, 26 July 2010

What is "All Things Cretinous" blog?

Hello. My name is Chris. I'm new here.

On the left hand side of the page you will see the place I affectionatley refer to as "The Cretinous Gym". I've been posting stories (which are all true) about this place and its cretinous service on my facebook profile for my friends to read for the past couple of months. What is the point of this blog? And why should you bother reading on? Well whilst the majority of them are probably wondering what all the fuss is about, a few of them have said I should turn it into an official blog, as its quite an interesting read.

So, here it is. Over the next couple of days I will be drip feeding you with existing stories of the Cretinous Gym. For any new readers, this will be a chance for you to get up to speed with whats been occuring. For existing readers, its a chance for you to relive the early days of the cretinousness. Feel free to share your experiences of cretinous service you've had to endure over the years!

What's that? Twitter account? Yeah, ok then, for those of you on twitter...  why not have a cheeky follow: @cretinousgym